Friday, May 22, 2015

Rules for Drinking

It's Friday and also Memorial Day Weekend so how about a little fun?! Here are a few "Rules for Drinking".

1. If you owe someone money, pay them back at the bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. ALWAYS toast before doing a shot. (My personal favorite is "May you be in heaven a half an hour before the devil knows your dead.")
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
5. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. And just because you buy her a drink it doesn't mean she likes you.
6. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: "Great, now I'm going to get drunk.", "I hate shots", or the worst "It's coming back up".
7. Never, ever tell a bartender they made your too strong or too weak.
8. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
9. After your sixth drink do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
10. It's only permissible to shout if you are doing a shot with four or more people.
11. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the Liquor store.
12. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.
13. It's OK to drink alone.
14. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of their response.
15.If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beverage is yours.
16. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
17. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
18. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. Also, make sure there is something in it.
19. Always have a corkscrew in your house. If you don't, you can push the cork into the bottle with a pen.
20. Beer make you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, and tequila makes you felonious.

If you have any drinking "rules" of your own I would love to here them. Leave a comment below!


No comments:

Post a Comment